The Meaning of Life

Ok, we are going to get a little bit philosophical on this one. If I am starting something with the title, "The Meaning of Life," I guess I should divulge some of my beliefs. First of all, I do not believe in the man made constructs of "religion" and "God." Every single religion has some tools and information that can help you be a good person, but I just don't believe God would be as reductive as all religions presented to us, created by man, want us to believe. I don't think there is a guy in a white robe with a beard keeping track of what we do right and what we do wrong. Who we allow to get married and who we shun. Who we invite into our homes and who we pretend doesn't exist. That's too easy.

Now, that doesn't mean I don't believe there is some unexplainable force that helped create all of this cool stuff we see every moment of life...I think it's very likely that it's very possible there is something else, grand and incomprehensible to our animal brains, at play. I simply do not believe that spending my time on earth trying to dissect that magic and define it is the way to live. I want to work on being a better person, every single day. Live with integrity. Acknowledge my mistakes. Don't be bitter, do better. Help my fellow man. Help the people I know find their peace and their purpose. Have fun. Spread laughter like wildfire. When I die, those are the things I want to be remembered for. Not my membership to one group or another. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about the meaning of life. My previous thoughts on the meaning of life could be found in Viktor Frankl's incredible book, "Man's Search For Meaning," or Shel Silverstein's, "The Missing Piece." And to a certain extent, I definitely think that the QUEST for meaning is a major piece of the meaning itself. But I am starting to see a few other pieces...

My friend's dad is dying. He had cancer. It went in remission. It's back. And at some point, he will die. My friend is going to lose her dad way too soon.

My sister's friend just died in an avalanche. 23. That beautiful girl never got to become the woman she was journeying towards.

My Uncle Steve got diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. His body was overrun by massive tumors. He died looking like the pregnant man. He was 62.

Terrorist attacks. Plane crashes. Car crashes. Breakups. Betrayals.

It seems we are linked by unimaginable, unfair pains and catastrophe. We all have lost someone too soon. We all get our hearts broken. We all are left with words unsaid, asking "what if?" Wondering what would be different if we had returned that phone call, spent more time, went out that night instead of deciding to stay in and watch Netflix.

Life is a constantly testing us, challenging us, daring us, to harden our shells. It pushes us to our limits and makes us sick to even think to let love in. Life wants us to lose our trust in "good" and "fair." But, despite all of those uphill battles, through an equation of PERSEVERANCE + TIME + KINDNESS + PATIENCE we CAN STILL STAY OPEN. If we are brave, if we try, we can still make room for love.

Good things come to those who love. So love. Don't let life break your faith in love. Whether it's love for yourself, your kids, your mamma or Justin Bieber, you gotta keep fighting for love. And when you make room for love and light, love and light will come right back.

I don't know much, but I know this to be true.

My Best Friend's Wedding

I am sitting here watching "The Devil Wears Prada," thinking about my best friend.

He's getting married in August. We've known each other for 15 years.

My life seems like a revolving door of death. First my uncle. Then my grandma. Then my grandpa. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Just when I think I'm finally digging both my feet into the ground again, someone else dies. And I have to plan. And then I have to speak.

My best friend is getting married. I get to plan and speak about someone who isn't dying. In fact, he's about to start his life. He's happy. He's found his perfect partner. He's going to soon start a family, I bet. Usually when women talk about their friends getting married, and they aren't yet married, there is always this hushed whisper in the background. "Is she jealous?" "I bet she wish it happened to her first." And when your best friend is a dude the loudest whisper of them all begs the questions: "Does she have feelings for him?" "Does he have feelings for her?"

I guess if I was on the other side of the looking glass I would have the same curiosities, but from where I am standing, those quiet notions seem so silly. I have been so fortunate to have had a consistently and purely platonic relationship with my best friend, and I couldn't be more elated that my hilarious, weirdo, super nerd best friend found somebody to love.

I admit, I have judged my best friend's girlfriends harshly. Not because I didn't want him to find love, but because I wanted him to find love that was real and true. One of my favorite attributes about him is his child-like spirit, and his love for things "normal adults" may label as "immature." His laughter and that inner-child, inner-dork, make him who he is. I was harsh because I didn't want my friend to lose himself for the sake of love.

I am overwhelmed with joy for so many reasons, but the main reason is that my best friend doesn't have to sacrifice a part of himself to be in love, to find his happiness. He has found a partner that lets him be who he is, and just when he is about to cross the line between ridiculous and impossible, she restrains him. It's a beautiful thing. Yes, you can wear that tie-dye X-Men shirt. Yes, you can wear your chaco sandals with cargo shorts. Yes, you can wear your crocodile dundee hat. It's time to trim your beard.

My best friend and I don't have much in common, in neither the present nor the future I'm guessing. The past is the tie that binds us. But to watch that little dorky kid I met 15 years ago on the school bus become the man he is today...It just makes me feel so damn good.

Musings on the Golden Globes

I just finished watching the Golden Globes with my 84 year old grandma. She lived through WW2 ("The Imitation Game"), watched the rise of Stephen Hawking ("Theory of Everything"), embraced the Civil Rights Movement ("Selma") and the felt the immediate impact of the early rise and spreading of the HIV-AIDS epidemic ("The Normal Heart). So while these portrayals of history were being honored, I was with someone who saw it in living color. In real life.

As I think of the extraordinary stories that emerged from these treacherous times, I can't help but think that in 30, 40, 50 years we will be watching movie stars celebrate their roles in films about this moment, this time. We are living in a time where fear is pervasive. We are supposed to be afraid of the government, the economy, the moderates, the conservatives, the progressives, the extremists. We are scared of those hired to protect and serve us, and equally as fearful of those who object to their use and abuse of power.

Yet, today, despite all that fear, we saw the world unite. We heard the story of a muslim man who saved many lives in that Jewish grocery store by hiding customers downstairs. We saw rallies and marches around the world, uniting us in solidarity, together, with one clear, succinct message: We will not live in fear. We will not be afraid to be honest. We are in this together. No matter the consequence.

So, while these grand stories of historical proportions were celebrated, it is almost as compelling that a film about a boy growing up in dysfunction, with flawed people surrounding him, "Boyhood," won Best Picture (Drama). All of these stories must be told, but raw, vulnerable humanity endures. That's not to say that it's either or. That's just to say that sometimes watching a boy become a man and watching people fuck up and do their best along the way unites us in the same way that tragedy, that terror, forges us anew.

We live in dark times, if all we think about is what is happening outside of us. We live in bountiful, joyful, wonderous times, if we simply remember we are all fucked up, just trying to do our best along the way.

Ok, ok....

Dear Meredith, It's time to start blogging for real. You have a lot of thoughts. Some of them are interesting. Maybe someone out there would want to even read them. So stop being a lazy jerk and just write. Don't let perfection be the enemy of good. Potential areas of posts: - sports, mainly NFL and baseball and charles barkley - music, music, music - movies/TV - comedy/JOKES - politics - current events - hair - make up - sex - boner killers - musing on life in general - relationships - bullshit So, get to it. the internet doesn't have enough people sharing their opinions. Or maybe it does. So what will one more hurt? Love, Meredith

Too Soon?

Really? Michael Jackson had been dead for about five minutes when I stumbled across this sandwich board outside a Peets Coffee. Check out how clever the flavor choice of the Peet's "Chiller" is --Dark Chocolate Swirl. Not sure how MJ would respond to his legacy being minimalized into a coffee beverage, but I guess it's the American way...