The Meaning of Life

Ok, we are going to get a little bit philosophical on this one. If I am starting something with the title, "The Meaning of Life," I guess I should divulge some of my beliefs. First of all, I do not believe in the man made constructs of "religion" and "God." Every single religion has some tools and information that can help you be a good person, but I just don't believe God would be as reductive as all religions presented to us, created by man, want us to believe. I don't think there is a guy in a white robe with a beard keeping track of what we do right and what we do wrong. Who we allow to get married and who we shun. Who we invite into our homes and who we pretend doesn't exist. That's too easy.

Now, that doesn't mean I don't believe there is some unexplainable force that helped create all of this cool stuff we see every moment of life...I think it's very likely that it's very possible there is something else, grand and incomprehensible to our animal brains, at play. I simply do not believe that spending my time on earth trying to dissect that magic and define it is the way to live. I want to work on being a better person, every single day. Live with integrity. Acknowledge my mistakes. Don't be bitter, do better. Help my fellow man. Help the people I know find their peace and their purpose. Have fun. Spread laughter like wildfire. When I die, those are the things I want to be remembered for. Not my membership to one group or another. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about the meaning of life. My previous thoughts on the meaning of life could be found in Viktor Frankl's incredible book, "Man's Search For Meaning," or Shel Silverstein's, "The Missing Piece." And to a certain extent, I definitely think that the QUEST for meaning is a major piece of the meaning itself. But I am starting to see a few other pieces...

My friend's dad is dying. He had cancer. It went in remission. It's back. And at some point, he will die. My friend is going to lose her dad way too soon.

My sister's friend just died in an avalanche. 23. That beautiful girl never got to become the woman she was journeying towards.

My Uncle Steve got diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. His body was overrun by massive tumors. He died looking like the pregnant man. He was 62.

Terrorist attacks. Plane crashes. Car crashes. Breakups. Betrayals.

It seems we are linked by unimaginable, unfair pains and catastrophe. We all have lost someone too soon. We all get our hearts broken. We all are left with words unsaid, asking "what if?" Wondering what would be different if we had returned that phone call, spent more time, went out that night instead of deciding to stay in and watch Netflix.

Life is a constantly testing us, challenging us, daring us, to harden our shells. It pushes us to our limits and makes us sick to even think to let love in. Life wants us to lose our trust in "good" and "fair." But, despite all of those uphill battles, through an equation of PERSEVERANCE + TIME + KINDNESS + PATIENCE we CAN STILL STAY OPEN. If we are brave, if we try, we can still make room for love.

Good things come to those who love. So love. Don't let life break your faith in love. Whether it's love for yourself, your kids, your mamma or Justin Bieber, you gotta keep fighting for love. And when you make room for love and light, love and light will come right back.

I don't know much, but I know this to be true.

Musings on the Golden Globes

I just finished watching the Golden Globes with my 84 year old grandma. She lived through WW2 ("The Imitation Game"), watched the rise of Stephen Hawking ("Theory of Everything"), embraced the Civil Rights Movement ("Selma") and the felt the immediate impact of the early rise and spreading of the HIV-AIDS epidemic ("The Normal Heart). So while these portrayals of history were being honored, I was with someone who saw it in living color. In real life.

As I think of the extraordinary stories that emerged from these treacherous times, I can't help but think that in 30, 40, 50 years we will be watching movie stars celebrate their roles in films about this moment, this time. We are living in a time where fear is pervasive. We are supposed to be afraid of the government, the economy, the moderates, the conservatives, the progressives, the extremists. We are scared of those hired to protect and serve us, and equally as fearful of those who object to their use and abuse of power.

Yet, today, despite all that fear, we saw the world unite. We heard the story of a muslim man who saved many lives in that Jewish grocery store by hiding customers downstairs. We saw rallies and marches around the world, uniting us in solidarity, together, with one clear, succinct message: We will not live in fear. We will not be afraid to be honest. We are in this together. No matter the consequence.

So, while these grand stories of historical proportions were celebrated, it is almost as compelling that a film about a boy growing up in dysfunction, with flawed people surrounding him, "Boyhood," won Best Picture (Drama). All of these stories must be told, but raw, vulnerable humanity endures. That's not to say that it's either or. That's just to say that sometimes watching a boy become a man and watching people fuck up and do their best along the way unites us in the same way that tragedy, that terror, forges us anew.

We live in dark times, if all we think about is what is happening outside of us. We live in bountiful, joyful, wonderous times, if we simply remember we are all fucked up, just trying to do our best along the way.